Ah here they come. The “What Ifs”. Being that labor is near imminent and our son is about to enter and change our lives forever, the “What Ifs” have begun entering my mind:
What if I make a mistake?
What if I drop him?
What if I make a mistake that scars him forever?
What if I get angry at his mother in front of him?
What if I don’t listen to him?
What if his heart gets broken?
What if he breaks someone’s heart?
What if he hates me?
What if I become my father?
Instead of fighting the “What Ifs” I have decided to embrace them and let in the other “What Ifs” that we all too easily forget:
What if I do something right?
What if I never put him down?
What if I do something that inspires him forever?
What if I show him what real love is by loving his mother?
What if I always listen to him and truly hear him?
What if his broken heart mends stronger than before?
What if he brings his light into another woman (or man’s) life?
What if he loves me?
What if I become my mother?
With all of the possibilities for what lies ahead, the only thing I can take comfort in is that I have no control over any of these outcomes. All I know is that at this moment, I have control over my actions.
What if – I accept that at this moment, I am doing at least one thing right.